Hi Adam! Very good start to your storybook! I really enjoyed that you made a point to show that Heracles was very vengeful and how he became to be that way. You started out well showing that Hera was jealous of Heracles and sought revenge against Zeus to kill Heracles, and also how Heracles became not to trust others. You laid a great foundation for the stories of all the people that Heracles sought vengeance for. This makes it a lot easier for people to know what they are going to read and be able to distinguish what story is happening. I also really liked your picture of Heracles killing the two serpents that Hera sent. It is a really nice addition to your introduction. I am really looking forward to reading your stories. Well done.
I think the idea for this storybook is great. The fact that it all about stories where Heracles is exacting revenge is very detailed and really shows your readers what to expect. The picture of Heracles on your Introduction page is a great way to show the start of Heracles and his power. I was going to suggest that you include pictures for every act of revenge you mention but I assume you will include those in the individual stories. The one thing I would suggest is breaking up your initial paragraph in your introduction. It seems to be very long and could easily be broken up into two or more paragraphs. This would make the story flow a little easier and not look so daunting to the reader. The paragraph structure is good at the end of your introduction where you mention each act of revenge in a separate paragraphs. This makes it a little easier to read and follow the storyline. This is a great start to your storybook. Good job!
Hey Adam! I really like Greek Mythology and all the gods and goddesses. So, right off the bat I'm excited to read your introduction!
I like the introduction to your page. It's really informative and I learned a lot about the different characters that may be important later on in the development of your site! I like the pictures you use. One suggestion would be to maybe make them a little smaller, they take up a lot of room on the page. Just a thought! I think a cool addition would be to add a family tree type picture that explain the origin of the gods and goddesses. That may help the reader follow along if they get lost in a clear and concise manner. It also may help centering your captions below your pictures. Also, maybe incorporate the red color you have on this blog, onto your google site!
Hey Adam, your homepage is great. The picture you chose was great. I don’t think I have ever seen it before so it adds to the uniqueness of your storybook which is always a good thing. The only advice I could part on you would be to add a little color to your layout. It was a bit bright for me. Your introduction does a great job of explaining what your storybook is about, and I think you made a good choice by taking a very matter of fact approach to it. I think you are well on your way to making a great storybook.
Your decision to put the author's note at the beginning of the story really helps the reader understand where the story starts. I feel like since your storybook is about revenge I would have loved to hear a little more detail about how he ultimately killed the king and his sons. Your paragraphs in this story are broken up well with each one containing different points within the major storyline. In regards to your introduction, I think you could possibly break up the initial paragraph into smaller paragraphs. I think I commented on this on an earlier post here. Your picture selection is great for this as this revenge Hercales seeked was started when he was not awarded Iole in the first place. In the first paragraph the line "After twelve long years, though, Hercales..." sounds a bit awkward to me. I suggest mentioning that Hercales is no average man and "after twelve long years he had completed the labours" and so on.
I enjoyed the entire set up of your introduction to the character of Heracles. I could totally tell that you were taking his story in a new angle: the fact that you mentioned that Hera sent the snakes after him to kill him while he was an infant really allowed me to understand why Heracles might be more of a vengeful character. You're also able to effectively make intertextual mention of the story you'll tell not really of glory, which Heracles is commonly associated with. I wasn't as impressed with the first story as I was with the introduction: it feels like you were just reciting the events as they happened, and not really giving an original spin on them. I don't even really see much analysis in the first story either. Maybe you should work on making this more of a new take on the Heracles stories of revenge and less of a recitation. However, if simply making a summary of stories just happens to be the purpose of your project, you should make it clear from the beginning.
Adam, With almost every story I have read so far, the author’s note has come at the end, even in my stories too, but I liked how you switched yours around and started with it instead of closed with it. The note gave some important background information that helped better set up your story. Had I read the author’s note at the end, I might have been wondering about some of the questions you answered in the beginning. I thought you did a really good job making your story unique and I particularly liked the way you ended the story. You kept the reading wanting more and I definitely want to check back next week to see what you’ve come up with. I think that leaving the story open ended like that will help tie all of your stories together and make them kind of a continuous flow. You did a really good job on your story this week. I think your layout for both your post and your blog fit your theme really well.
I like how you gave Heracles’ backstory in the Introduction. It kind of gives you a heads up of how things might go down. You would think that Heracles would have learned his lesson after the 2nd time he didn’t get payment afterwards that he should probably get payment up front. I also like how you gave the Author’s Note before you started your story since it gives the person reading a sense of direction.
As far as the design of your website, it’s nicely done. I’m usually not a fan of red since it’s hard for me to see for some reason, but I like the darker red. The image you used in the Introduction was very fitting. After reading the Introduction, I read the Heracles and Revenge page and realized that was kind of a Title page … even though they are in order, I instinctively clicked the Introduction page.
Hi, Adam! It seems like your storybook is coming along really well. You did a great job providing all of the necessary background information for the stories you're going to include. I'm in the Indian Epics class, so all I know about Heracles comes from your introduction. It was appropriately informative, but still super interesting. I also like how you lay out your storybook, so the reader knows what to expect from the upcoming stories. I was intrigued by that, and I wanted to read more. That was very effective.
I like your first story. You told it well, and I think you did a good job fitting a lot of plot into a short story without overwhelming the reader. It was a great decision to put the Author's Note at the beginning. Most of the ones I see are at the end, but it worked well preceding the story here because it really helped me understand what follows. Nice job!
Your blog has such a cool background. When I scroll down it fast it is kind of trippy to watch the diamonds change colors in one spot. It is AWESOME. There is a lot of red on your blog which makes the eyes drawn to it, but it might look better with another color too. I do like the contrast colors of white and yellow for the text.
Hi Adam, I wanted to start by saying that I am a big fan of the Heracles theme for your storybook. His rich background gives way for a lot of potentially great stories; I think you do a great job on capitalizing on that opportunity. I also really appreciated how you used a lot of well-known characters from that era to add into yours. It helped to add a lot of diversity to your stories. I really enjoyed how you used Heracles’ short fuse in Heracles and King Eurytus. It was even kind of humorous to see that he got so heated that he decided to shove Iphitus to his demise. That line definitely set the tone for the wrath of his temper for the rest of the story. It was actually a great segue to the conclusion of the story since it had such a violent ending with him brutally murdering the king and his remaining sons. I can’t wait to read the rest of your stories!
Hey, Adam. I like your first story about Heracles and the King. I like that you gave a little background information first before reading. It really helped me to understand what was going on. I also like that you added Heracles wife. I am excited to read what your are going to do with her character if future storybook chapters. I think you did a very good job of showing how angry that Heracles is. That is one emotion that was very apparent when I was reading. It was really fun to watch how he's so heated that his revenge is so apparent. When he shoved Iphitus, I thought that was pretty funny because he was actually on his side. I also really like your picture at the end. I think it fit the story. The design of your storybook is also very neat and clean. Very good job so far Adam. Looking forward to reading again.
I think that the subject of your storybook is a cool idea. Revenge is one of those themes that is dealt with in so many stories that we have read for this class, as well as in many movies and books. I like the picture that you chose to put on your storybook homepage. Heracles is one of the first people that I think of when I think about mythology, so I thought that it fit well for your storybook.
I read your introduction and your first story of Heracles and King Eurytus. I thought that your word choice was great and your sentences flowed well. The paragraphs were well organized and they kept me interested as I was reading. I also liked that you put your author's note at the beginning of the story. It really helped me understand what I was about to read and your thoughts on the story.
Overall, good job! I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
I just started reading your storybook project, and I noticed you said in your introduction that revenge is a common theme in many Greek myths. Oddly enough, revenge seems to be a pretty common theme in myths from all over the world, not just Greece! But Heracles had plenty of reason to seek revenge - not only was he set up by his crazy stepmother Hera, but then he was gypped out of a bet by King Eurytus! I've noticed your storybook doesn't read like most other storybooks, with story re-tellings or narrations. It reads very chronologically and completely, almost as if I'm watching a special on the History Channel. I like this way of telling Heracles' revenge, because it gives more information and history of Greece along with the actual story. You're doing a good job with carrying on the legacy of Heracles' revenge, so keep up the good work!
About Heracles and Laomedon: I thought that the most effective part of your writing were your prose and syntax. But beyond that, the story didn't really keep my attention. I think this was mainly due to the fact that, as you mentioned in your author's note, you kept extremely close to the source material in terms of content. Even though the project outline doesn't necessarily say to deviate heavily from the source material your drawing from, it's implied that you do your best to creatively interweave multiple story-lines and/or themes from each tale that you use. Other than that, the rest of your stories are absolutely fine! You definitely flex your creative muscles when you wrote your introduction and the story of Heracles and King Eurytus. I would recommend maybe switching to a portfolio type of project if you're going to be relying heavily on re-iteration of the source material in the future however.
First I really like your idea to base your storybook around the central idea of revenge. I love that you stuck to one character throughout your storybook as well. I like being able to get to know a character. I think its important for readers to be able to create a connection to characters that makes them excited to read the stories, so keeping your storybook theme really concentrated is a great first step in making that happen for your readers. Also your grammar and syntax for your book is in great shape.
I had some trouble really getting into your stories though. They each cover a LOT of material, and I felt like I was just getting a basic summary, squeezed into 1000 words. The writing also felt really distant. It felt really hard to get to know your Heracles' personality, desires, motivations, etc. I think it may help if you zero your stories in to a smaller chunk of events. This will let you get more detail and excitement into your stories. Anything that happens after what you focus on, or extraneous detail in general, can be explained in the Author's note, which I think may be helpful to insert at the end of the story rather than before it so as not to distract readers and reveal and spoilers or key plot points before the story is actually read.
I liked your angle in regards to writing about hercules and all the revenge plots that are in his life. Hercules was a good choice to write about for your storybook. Your picture choices fit excellently on each page and each one enhanced your writing. I feel that your color choices for your page fit very well with your theme. The color red goes perfectly for a revenge theme. The color red makes me think of anger and vengeance. As for your writing style...I thought you did a good job of covering the material on each page, but some of the writing was a little dry. Like other people have said before me, it was a little hard for me to stay motivated to read the story because of the more factual aspect of your writing instead of retelling the story more creatively. By possibly adding a little more dialogue too, the stories would have kept my attention better. Good job on your sentence structure, grammar, and spelling though. I didn't see any errors in those areas. One more note...on one page you put the Editor's Note at the beginning of the page. I would put that at the end of the story instead. That way, the reader can read your version first then read what changes were or weren't made from the original story. Good job over all!
I like the topic that you chose to write your storybook about. It is one that many people have heard of, though many people may not know it in depth. I do wish that you had chosen to have a specific narrator write the story, instead of just having the storybook be a retelling of the different revenge stories that happened in Heracles’ life. I think that it would just add more to the story and make it a little more entertaining for the reader.
I also think that your introduction had a little too much story telling instead of just setting up what is going to be covered in the stories that you write. I do think that it was a smart choice to have the author’s note be at the beginning of the first story. It helps provide the reader with information so the reader is fully informed before beginning your story.
You had a great storybook. I really liked the theme that you have. The colors and layout are all very clean and professional looking. I also liked the very mysterious feel of the entire website, along with the quotes and pictures. It made me very interested in reading your stories. I really liked your introduction. It had a great flow to it throughout the entire thing. I never found any flaws with spelling or grammar, so you did an excellent job with that. The entire introduction got me really excited to read the stories within. I got to read the wicked prince as well and it was an awesome story. It kept me interested the whole time and was really well written. I can’t wait to read the rest of the stories within this storybook. Your stories seem to be right up my ally in subject.
Hi Adam! Very good start to your storybook! I really enjoyed that you made a point to show that Heracles was very vengeful and how he became to be that way. You started out well showing that Hera was jealous of Heracles and sought revenge against Zeus to kill Heracles, and also how Heracles became not to trust others. You laid a great foundation for the stories of all the people that Heracles sought vengeance for. This makes it a lot easier for people to know what they are going to read and be able to distinguish what story is happening. I also really liked your picture of Heracles killing the two serpents that Hera sent. It is a really nice addition to your introduction. I am really looking forward to reading your stories. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI think the idea for this storybook is great. The fact that it all about stories where Heracles is exacting revenge is very detailed and really shows your readers what to expect. The picture of Heracles on your Introduction page is a great way to show the start of Heracles and his power. I was going to suggest that you include pictures for every act of revenge you mention but I assume you will include those in the individual stories.
ReplyDeleteThe one thing I would suggest is breaking up your initial paragraph in your introduction. It seems to be very long and could easily be broken up into two or more paragraphs. This would make the story flow a little easier and not look so daunting to the reader. The paragraph structure is good at the end of your introduction where you mention each act of revenge in a separate paragraphs. This makes it a little easier to read and follow the storyline.
This is a great start to your storybook. Good job!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey Adam! I really like Greek Mythology and all the gods and goddesses. So, right off the bat I'm excited to read your introduction!
ReplyDeleteI like the introduction to your page. It's really informative and I learned a lot about the different characters that may be important later on in the development of your site! I like the pictures you use. One suggestion would be to maybe make them a little smaller, they take up a lot of room on the page. Just a thought! I think a cool addition would be to add a family tree type picture that explain the origin of the gods and goddesses. That may help the reader follow along if they get lost in a clear and concise manner. It also may help centering your captions below your pictures. Also, maybe incorporate the red color you have on this blog, onto your google site!
Hey Adam, your homepage is great. The picture you chose was great. I don’t think I have ever seen it before so it adds to the uniqueness of your storybook which is always a good thing. The only advice I could part on you would be to add a little color to your layout. It was a bit bright for me. Your introduction does a great job of explaining what your storybook is about, and I think you made a good choice by taking a very matter of fact approach to it. I think you are well on your way to making a great storybook.
ReplyDeleteYour decision to put the author's note at the beginning of the story really helps the reader understand where the story starts. I feel like since your storybook is about revenge I would have loved to hear a little more detail about how he ultimately killed the king and his sons. Your paragraphs in this story are broken up well with each one containing different points within the major storyline.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to your introduction, I think you could possibly break up the initial paragraph into smaller paragraphs. I think I commented on this on an earlier post here. Your picture selection is great for this as this revenge Hercales seeked was started when he was not awarded Iole in the first place.
In the first paragraph the line "After twelve long years, though, Hercales..." sounds a bit awkward to me. I suggest mentioning that Hercales is no average man and "after twelve long years he had completed the labours" and so on.
I enjoyed the entire set up of your introduction to the character of Heracles. I could totally tell that you were taking his story in a new angle: the fact that you mentioned that Hera sent the snakes after him to kill him while he was an infant really allowed me to understand why Heracles might be more of a vengeful character. You're also able to effectively make intertextual mention of the story you'll tell not really of glory, which Heracles is commonly associated with.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't as impressed with the first story as I was with the introduction: it feels like you were just reciting the events as they happened, and not really giving an original spin on them. I don't even really see much analysis in the first story either. Maybe you should work on making this more of a new take on the Heracles stories of revenge and less of a recitation. However, if simply making a summary of stories just happens to be the purpose of your project, you should make it clear from the beginning.
Adam,
ReplyDeleteWith almost every story I have read so far, the author’s note has come at the end, even in my stories too, but I liked how you switched yours around and started with it instead of closed with it. The note gave some important background information that helped better set up your story. Had I read the author’s note at the end, I might have been wondering about some of the questions you answered in the beginning. I thought you did a really good job making your story unique and I particularly liked the way you ended the story. You kept the reading wanting more and I definitely want to check back next week to see what you’ve come up with. I think that leaving the story open ended like that will help tie all of your stories together and make them kind of a continuous flow. You did a really good job on your story this week. I think your layout for both your post and your blog fit your theme really well.
I like how you gave Heracles’ backstory in the Introduction. It kind of gives you a heads up of how things might go down. You would think that Heracles would have learned his lesson after the 2nd time he didn’t get payment afterwards that he should probably get payment up front. I also like how you gave the Author’s Note before you started your story since it gives the person reading a sense of direction.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the design of your website, it’s nicely done. I’m usually not a fan of red since it’s hard for me to see for some reason, but I like the darker red. The image you used in the Introduction was very fitting. After reading the Introduction, I read the Heracles and Revenge page and realized that was kind of a Title page … even though they are in order, I instinctively clicked the Introduction page.
Hi, Adam! It seems like your storybook is coming along really well. You did a great job providing all of the necessary background information for the stories you're going to include. I'm in the Indian Epics class, so all I know about Heracles comes from your introduction. It was appropriately informative, but still super interesting. I also like how you lay out your storybook, so the reader knows what to expect from the upcoming stories. I was intrigued by that, and I wanted to read more. That was very effective.
ReplyDeleteI like your first story. You told it well, and I think you did a good job fitting a lot of plot into a short story without overwhelming the reader. It was a great decision to put the Author's Note at the beginning. Most of the ones I see are at the end, but it worked well preceding the story here because it really helped me understand what follows. Nice job!
Your blog has such a cool background. When I scroll down it fast it is kind of trippy to watch the diamonds change colors in one spot. It is AWESOME. There is a lot of red on your blog which makes the eyes drawn to it, but it might look better with another color too. I do like the contrast colors of white and yellow for the text.
ReplyDeleteHi Adam, I wanted to start by saying that I am a big fan of the Heracles theme for your storybook. His rich background gives way for a lot of potentially great stories; I think you do a great job on capitalizing on that opportunity. I also really appreciated how you used a lot of well-known characters from that era to add into yours. It helped to add a lot of diversity to your stories. I really enjoyed how you used Heracles’ short fuse in Heracles and King Eurytus. It was even kind of humorous to see that he got so heated that he decided to shove Iphitus to his demise. That line definitely set the tone for the wrath of his temper for the rest of the story. It was actually a great segue to the conclusion of the story since it had such a violent ending with him brutally murdering the king and his remaining sons. I can’t wait to read the rest of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHey, Adam. I like your first story about Heracles and the King. I like that you gave a little background information first before reading. It really helped me to understand what was going on. I also like that you added Heracles wife. I am excited to read what your are going to do with her character if future storybook chapters. I think you did a very good job of showing how angry that Heracles is. That is one emotion that was very apparent when I was reading. It was really fun to watch how he's so heated that his revenge is so apparent. When he shoved Iphitus, I thought that was pretty funny because he was actually on his side. I also really like your picture at the end. I think it fit the story. The design of your storybook is also very neat and clean. Very good job so far Adam. Looking forward to reading again.
ReplyDeleteHi Adam,
ReplyDeleteI think that the subject of your storybook is a cool idea. Revenge is one of those themes that is dealt with in so many stories that we have read for this class, as well as in many movies and books. I like the picture that you chose to put on your storybook homepage. Heracles is one of the first people that I think of when I think about mythology, so I thought that it fit well for your storybook.
I read your introduction and your first story of Heracles and King Eurytus. I thought that your word choice was great and your sentences flowed well. The paragraphs were well organized and they kept me interested as I was reading. I also liked that you put your author's note at the beginning of the story. It really helped me understand what I was about to read and your thoughts on the story.
Overall, good job! I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
I just started reading your storybook project, and I noticed you said in your introduction that revenge is a common theme in many Greek myths. Oddly enough, revenge seems to be a pretty common theme in myths from all over the world, not just Greece! But Heracles had plenty of reason to seek revenge - not only was he set up by his crazy stepmother Hera, but then he was gypped out of a bet by King Eurytus!
ReplyDeleteI've noticed your storybook doesn't read like most other storybooks, with story re-tellings or narrations. It reads very chronologically and completely, almost as if I'm watching a special on the History Channel. I like this way of telling Heracles' revenge, because it gives more information and history of Greece along with the actual story. You're doing a good job with carrying on the legacy of Heracles' revenge, so keep up the good work!
About Heracles and Laomedon: I thought that the most effective part of your writing were your prose and syntax. But beyond that, the story didn't really keep my attention. I think this was mainly due to the fact that, as you mentioned in your author's note, you kept extremely close to the source material in terms of content. Even though the project outline doesn't necessarily say to deviate heavily from the source material your drawing from, it's implied that you do your best to creatively interweave multiple story-lines and/or themes from each tale that you use.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, the rest of your stories are absolutely fine! You definitely flex your creative muscles when you wrote your introduction and the story of Heracles and King Eurytus. I would recommend maybe switching to a portfolio type of project if you're going to be relying heavily on re-iteration of the source material in the future however.
First I really like your idea to base your storybook around the central idea of revenge. I love that you stuck to one character throughout your storybook as well. I like being able to get to know a character. I think its important for readers to be able to create a connection to characters that makes them excited to read the stories, so keeping your storybook theme really concentrated is a great first step in making that happen for your readers. Also your grammar and syntax for your book is in great shape.
ReplyDeleteI had some trouble really getting into your stories though. They each cover a LOT of material, and I felt like I was just getting a basic summary, squeezed into 1000 words. The writing also felt really distant. It felt really hard to get to know your Heracles' personality, desires, motivations, etc. I think it may help if you zero your stories in to a smaller chunk of events. This will let you get more detail and excitement into your stories. Anything that happens after what you focus on, or extraneous detail in general, can be explained in the Author's note, which I think may be helpful to insert at the end of the story rather than before it so as not to distract readers and reveal and spoilers or key plot points before the story is actually read.
I liked your angle in regards to writing about hercules and all the revenge plots that are in his life. Hercules was a good choice to write about for your storybook. Your picture choices fit excellently on each page and each one enhanced your writing. I feel that your color choices for your page fit very well with your theme. The color red goes perfectly for a revenge theme. The color red makes me think of anger and vengeance.
ReplyDeleteAs for your writing style...I thought you did a good job of covering the material on each page, but some of the writing was a little dry. Like other people have said before me, it was a little hard for me to stay motivated to read the story because of the more factual aspect of your writing instead of retelling the story more creatively. By possibly adding a little more dialogue too, the stories would have kept my attention better. Good job on your sentence structure, grammar, and spelling though. I didn't see any errors in those areas.
One more note...on one page you put the Editor's Note at the beginning of the page. I would put that at the end of the story instead. That way, the reader can read your version first then read what changes were or weren't made from the original story.
Good job over all!
Adam,
ReplyDeleteI like the topic that you chose to write your storybook about. It is one that many people have heard of, though many people may not know it in depth. I do wish that you had chosen to have a specific narrator write the story, instead of just having the storybook be a retelling of the different revenge stories that happened in Heracles’ life. I think that it would just add more to the story and make it a little more entertaining for the reader.
I also think that your introduction had a little too much story telling instead of just setting up what is going to be covered in the stories that you write. I do think that it was a smart choice to have the author’s note be at the beginning of the first story. It helps provide the reader with information so the reader is fully informed before beginning your story.
You had a great storybook. I really liked the theme that you have. The colors and layout are all very clean and professional looking. I also liked the very mysterious feel of the entire website, along with the quotes and pictures. It made me very interested in reading your stories. I really liked your introduction. It had a great flow to it throughout the entire thing. I never found any flaws with spelling or grammar, so you did an excellent job with that. The entire introduction got me really excited to read the stories within. I got to read the wicked prince as well and it was an awesome story. It kept me interested the whole time and was really well written. I can’t wait to read the rest of the stories within this storybook. Your stories seem to be right up my ally in subject.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like Steven's comment goes to Andres's Storybook; I've copied and pasted it over to Andres's comment wall! Sorry for the confusion! :-)
ReplyDelete